Words...

  Words, empty words...senseless, which will soon be forgotten.. Rashly delivered words, which make you feel regret...Silly, but sometimes funny words...Words, which can make you the happiest person in the world or destroy your live in one second...Liar words, which do "beautiful" your existence, or hurt your heart and break it... Words, which heal your heart...Words, just simple words, from which I've told you  what i wanted to tell..
   Had you ever thought before you hurt someone?
Sometimes, I'm ashamed, when I think how many people I hurt or not treated right in the past...
 I'm really trying to forgive others, who hurt me so bad..  Time heals everything, but scars always stay with us...
  Our experience makes us stronger and  better... 

The last year.. summerize...

It was pretty good year and a lot of things happened..Let's begin from the beginning... But I'll tell you only important moments.
1. I met 2010 year with my boyfriend and it was really the greatest day in my life.. I can remember about it with smile.. Sweet memories...
2.  After 2 month we broke up... .But as it is said "the end is a new begging" and he's now in the past.
3. My biggest wish was to go to London and study there at the summer school and you can imagine how happy I was when my father told me that I was allowed to go to London... It was in the spring...
4. I'll never forget that day..It was 7th of July when I arrived at the Heathrow airport.. Another reason why this day is memorable is that I was lost at the airport...
5. I was taken to the host family, where began my adventure...First I met Tara and her friend Sarah... They were very lovely and honestly I didn't expect...I lived there within two weeks... I loved that house and neighborhood.. It was quit street.. I really miss that time..
6. After two weeks I moved to another house.. And I love that period more.. I met amazing people there... I spent great time with them and made friends.. They were all so lovely, friendly and don't know how to express my feelings...Every day we had fun, you wouldn't  have been sad with them..I miss everybody so much..
7. Another great day was Notting Hill Carnival. It was very happy day..  Sunshine, dancing and bright colors..
8. My birthday party... I bought a chocolate cake and celebrate my 19th birthday with my flatmates.. It was 13th of September.. I was happy because I wasn't alone...
9. My school in London with amazing teachers and my schoolmates.. I miss my beautiful blond teacher Flora, who left us after 3 weeks, playing Marie's scrabble with classmates, trips with Camille around the London, Ben with funny stories about her daughter, Seline with her listening and Matt with his songs... And I miss walking with Lyn and taking pictures..
10. 2th of October... It was a day I left London...I was sad and happy..
 Then I continued my university and  since than nothing important has happened...

Feelings...

Sometimes I wish I could disappear... Sometimes I wish I wasn’t here…I wonder what world would be without me.. What if I could change everything…  Everything makes me weaker… I wonder if people have any feelings, or they’re heartless or they act like they’re happy but inside they’re just sad, desperate… I don’t know people… They’re just lying all the time… I do agree that everybody lies, everybody, even me… do you want to know why? Because sometimes it’s necessary to see the truth beyond the lies... But what about if it hurts? Have you ever thought about it? Maybe yes or maybe not.. Who knows.. But it’s better face the truth in every case.. I’m so confused.. I don’t know the truth…  Was it real? Time goes so fast.. I can’t even realize what’s happening around me… In the end everybody leaves.. Or it’s me.. I leave everybody… Or either me or everybody… I’m so small in this big world… And despite this  I love this world… I wish I could fly or I was a bird… I would fly all day long,  I would be free… Just free…  Why we hurt those who love us...why we can’t live without problems... You would say that it’s impossible... I would say that everything is possible... But do I believe this? I want to believe... But everything is different... Sometimes I look at people and see that they’ve changed... They’re not the same.. They’re just strangers... And wonder why? What happened? I can’t find the answers, but I need them very much to live... To be happy... To make people feel happy... But questions are all the time in my head... where are the answers... I wish I knew the place to find them... Everything’s so complicated... Is it worth to live? Life goes on for everybody, but I’m stuck in this time... I just can’t move... Maybe you think that I’m depressed, no I’m not, I just don’t know what to do... I don’t want to lose what I love... I don’t want to grow up, I don’t want to be a stranger for myself... I don’t want to lie... I don’t want to act... But I have to... And that’s so unfair... Just want to tell people that I love them, but I’m afraid that they will leave me... Everyone breaks your heart and doesn’t think about you... Then you cry...drowning in your tears... But they just don’t care, do they? Someone said that eyes are the mirror of the soul... But does anyone have soul? Or they’re just empty inside... I don’t know answers and nobody can give me them... I’ll try to move forward without answers hoping that I’ll find them on my way of the life...


                                                                                       

Guess what? I'm back.. I was very busy and didn't have time for my blog and didn't have inspiration either...
But before I write something, read this:
Its time to be nice to someone else. Over 60% of people die from suicide. Do you know how much people that is? Its a lot! Most of them think that no one loves them and most of them just aren't pleased with the body they were born in.
55% of those people die without being told they were loved when they secretly were. Most people just don't express their feelings. So today if you agree that everyone should be told they are loved send this bulletin over to your friends and show them how much they truly are loved ♥

I want my friends to know that I really love them and they can always count on me :D

Host family (fisrt week)

After my suffering at the airport I finally reached the home... I rang the bell..  A blond girl opened the door.. She apparently didn't expect me, because she was wearing only a jumper , and was very surprised...She helped me to lift my luggage upwards and than introduced herself, she was Tara, a daughter of my host mother...Then I met her friend Sarah.. We had a little conversation about ourselves, they were so nice to me.. I was very tired so went to the bed to have a rest..
Another day Sarah showed me the train station, so i could go to school...I bought a travel card..After this we came back home.. I went upstairs to my room and Sarah-to meet her friends.. Then another incident  happened..I was chatting with my sister, she asked me to take photos of the street, where i lived.. So I went out and closed the door, forgot that the door didn't have a handle(In my country every home has a handle) and i left my keys in the room... I knew that Tara would come back at 9p.m. and it was only 3 p.m. Can you imagine my situation? I didn't know what to do, so i started walking... I was walking and walking again :)) First I was trying to remember the way to the station, but I couldn't... Then people started to ask me if i was okay, maybe they were thinking that i was lost or something like that :)) Finally I sat down on the pavement in front of my house.. It was evening, it was cool outside and I was shivering.. Suddenly I heard the voice of a car behind me.. I saw the guy, he asked me the same, if I was okay...As it appeared he was Tara's brother.. I explained him my situation :)) He opened the door and I went to my room...
 On Monday I had to go to school, but I forgot how to get to the station.. But it was OK, I asked a girl who showed me the way..I took a train to Victoria Station... When I get off the train and went outside, I found that I had no idea where to go.. I don't remember how i found the school... But the funny thing was that my school was near the sloane square station, but I didn't know that i had to take underground :D
After half an hour I found my school, went downstairs, where I met my principal Jon, wrote a test, but it's not important part... So after a hour we were sitting in the class, we were 15, our teacher called Flora.. She was sweet.. She had beautiful blonde hair and was funny :)) I met a lot of people in this school, who i'll remember the whole life..
  My first week was terrible.. I couldn't find my way to school, it seemed as if all the buildings were the same...I had nostalgia about my country, family and friends... Crying a lot.. But I was getting used to  new life..

London

I want to write about the most adorable city, London.. Yes I love London..
I've been to London for 2 month and it was enough to fall in love with it. But first week was very stressful..
I was late at the airport in Tbilisi and almost missed the flight.. I was so nervous.. And when i arrived at the Heathrow i found that it was a huge airport, 10 times bigger than Tbilisi airport.. Didn't know where to go, so I followed  one family.. ( I was playing with their child on the plain).. Then we went to check our hand luggage.. But suddenly my bag began ringing... Security told me that they had to check my bag..( I had spray in it, i didn't know that it was forbidden) I should have waited there while they were checking my bag, but i was so confused and nervous that i just left my bag there.. Didn't remember what I was thinking about..Than as it appeared that family was going to America..When i approached Heathrow employer, he asked me where i was going. I answered, that i wasn't going anywhere, I had just arrived.. So he gave me a advice to go to gate 60. Then i followed signs.. I kept going but suddenly sign disappeared.. I was standing confused.. That i stopped another employer, asked where to go.. He showed me the way.. I'd been walking at the airport for 3 hours (almost), before i found my way.. But i had to meet a driver at the airport and i've been looking for driver for half an hour I think..Finally I found him.. Then I remembered about my bag, I had all my money and credit card in it and i began crying... But driver helped me, he took me to a women, who worked there (don't know what kind of work she did) and she asked me about bag, what color was it, what was in it and so on.. After 15 mins the gave me my bag back.. I was so happy..

                                       

                                           London Eye

                                             I love this bridge most of all, especially at nights !!!

                                              Greenwich-great place